On words and weapons

I was talking to a good friend of mine the other day, and she was telling me about how awful she felt all week because of a verbal fight she had with a relative of hers (it’s okay, she has given me permission to make this reference on my blog). She told me how her relative had used his words to hurt her so deeply, so unnecessarily, so uncalled for. He hadn't cursed at her, mind you. He hadn't sworn at her, didn't call her names. No. His verbal abuse was in a different form.

His verbal abuse is the kind where references, innuendos and loaded phrases are made to degrade you, make u feel very very insignificant, very little, very unsure about yourself, very inadequate.

While I spoke to her, I thought, why not create a blog post out of this experience and share some encouragement with anyone who's been in this situation.
    So I said to her: don't let the negative words and negativity of anyone bring you down. Know who you are, and know that you deserve more respect, more courtesy than what you're being shown. You need to tell your abuser to stop. You need to tell him that you don't appreciate such harassment - because that's what it is, harassment.

Perhaps his words may not have come out the way he meant them to, but they were hurtful nonetheless.

Words can be just like weapons when misused. They can hurt like hell. Misused and misplaced words hurt worse than hell when they're coming from someone you care about. And it is easier said than done when we're told to shrug it off. But that's what needs to be done. We need to not let the words of others, especially the negative words, take us into that dark, eerie place. No matter what is being said, or how true you think it sounds, you've got to keep yourself afloat, keep yourself above that drowning feeling that threatens to overwhelm you and drag you into the pool of self pity and self condemnation.

You can be and do anything you want to be or do. This is not just a cliché or random famous quote. You really, absolutely can do whatever you want to be or do. I say this you as much as I am saying it to myself.

Yep, I tell myself the same thing almost every day, when everyday life problems threaten to overwhelm me sometimes and people's actions lead me to the path of great discouragement. I have to tell myself, I can do it. I can be that person. That person that I so long to be, that career path that I so long to take, I can make it. I can be it. I just have to believe in myself. In fact, I ONLY have to believe in myself, and that's all I have to do.
Oh, it'd be absolutely wonderful if we had the support of people we care about, especially if we had the support of family members. But, unfortunately, we live in a realistic world where we get constantly disappointed by everyone, even those we hold very highly. So it’s time we accept it as part of life, and move on past all the negativity. I pride myself in the way that I shrug off words that are said to me that do nothing to uplift or build me up. By all means chastise me, advise me, yell at me if possible for something I did wrong, but when negativity, discouragement and passive condemnation starts to seep through, that's when to draw the line and let it bounce off of me. That’s when I push back, until such aura is nowhere near me or my mind. It doesn't matter if it’s coming from a family member, a best friend, a boyfriend.

So I went on to tell my friend to have a talk with her relative. It'd be better for her to come clean about her feelings and how his words had affected her. She may not want to go all sentimental and appear vulnerable, but she can stand up for herself, and let him know that she would appreciate less negative words towards her in the future, and more encouraging words instead, if it can be managed. Talk it out, and talk it through, and move on spite of whatever the outcome may be.

Life is too short to let it be affected or manipulated by what people think about us or say to us.
Life is too short to waste time dwelling on what you think is not right about you. How about you spend time improving on yourself, learning new things about yourself, and arming yourself with the right equipment to take on the world and do exactly what you aim to achieve? 
No need to waste time trying to be perfect. Just be yourself, but be a better, improved and happier you.

That's what got me thinking today.

'TiI next time!