Can an introvert and extrovert relationship work?

I was reading an article the other day (yes, you all know i love to read anything and everything...well, not really anything and everything..But most things. OK, I’ll stop rattling off now), and the article was about the behavioral patterns of introverts and extroverts. and of course, the article got me thinking, and i thought, hah, why not write a blog post about this.

So what got me thinking was, can an introvert and an extrovert couple have a good relationship? Let’s talk about what an introvert and extrovert are. An introvert is one who is shy and reserved. Introverts are not timid, but are a self assured (some, at least) group of people that simply enjoy and thrive in their own company. They are not just shy and unable to speak up, so perhaps i shouldn't use the term shy to describe them, because being shy is akin to being nervous and somewhat anxious.  Introverts, as socially skilled as they may be, (or have been trained to become), enjoy dwelling in their own thoughts and exploring the inner parts of their mind and feelings. They DO NOT enjoy being in a large crowd. They may socialize for a little bit of time, but afterwards, they go on hiatus for a time in order to recharge and get their energy back - by being alone.

One thing to be clear about...introverts are not depressed, or sad, or miserable. When they go on hiatus, they are not sulking, or being moody, or non-nonchalant...no, when they want to be alone, it’s because they have to, so they can get back their sense of togetherness and stability, so they can get back the spark of recharge to their sense of being. See here for a full description of an Introvert - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/20/introverts-signs-am-i-introverted_n_3721431.html  

An extrovert is the opposite. They are buoyant, lively; they thrive in being around people, enjoying the company of a crowd. They love to meet new people, enjoy small talks, long conversations, and are quite active and very friendly. Now when you look at these two groups of people and their differing personality, you think, can these two personalities make a good couple? 

There's a saying that goes, opposites attract, and I think that saying is at least 98% accurate. I believe that introverts tend to veer towards extroverts when it comes to dating, because they need (without them even consciously realizing it) that expressive personality that'll draw them out of their shell, make them talk more, interact more, be more social. Extroverts, on the other hand, need that outside personality that can put a calm to their highly energized soul (when I say highly energized, I don't mean they jumping all over like monkeys that are high on drugs). Extroverted people are, most times, attracted to one who can balance them out, and push them to have some reflection time. This is why I do think these two complement one another, and in a relationship, you want to have that balance in interactions and communication. Not to say that two introverts or two extroverts can’t have a thriving relationship; I’m sure they can and they do. But I do think these two opposites are much better balanced.

Let's take a look at myself. I am an introvert all the way. The article from the link I mentioned above describes me to a T, I think. I'm quite social, don't get me wrong. I hang out with friends. Go to parties, have great conversations with people. But after a while? I go on hibernation. I'm not seen or heard from for a little while, and it’s not because I’m depressed, or going through a 'phase'. It’s because I need to get my breath back, to enjoy my own company and be back in the solace of my mind. I hate small talks; I just don't see the point of it. The way I see it, skip the small chit chat and get right down to business. I hate high volume clubs and extremely large gatherings. I can’t explain why or how all of this works, but that’s the way it is and how I’ve always been. I’ve tried to explain so many times to so many people who couldn't quite figure out why I shut myself away from the world periodically, but after a while, I kind of gave up on giving excuses or explaining myself to everyone. At some point in life, you just let people believe what they want to believe, as long as you know the truth about who you are, that’s all that matters!

So, back to the point about an intro-extro union...as an introvert I have found myself drawn to extroverts. Not to say that I don't find male introverts attractive, I actually do. But you'll find that with extroverts, it’s almost like they awaken that little part of you that seems to lie low because of the introverted, reserved person that you are. They make me talk more, express myself more, laugh at myself more, and take life a little less seriously. On the flip side, I make them more aware, more conscious of their thoughts, more in tune with their feelings, and more sensitive to the feelings of others. Over time, however, i began to experience a downside to this. I started feeling like i couldn't keep up. I found myself always trying to explain my moods, my thought waves, myself. Had to explain why I didn't want to come out tonight, or go to a third concert 2 weeks in a row. Or meet with his friends at that extremely crowded lounge, again. So this is definitely one of the cons of an intro-extro union.

With an introvert, there was so much he and I had in common, which was what drew us together in the first place. We didn't have to explain our individual hiatus-tendencies, didn't have to explain our need to just lie low and keep chilled, recharge, ruminate. But, overtime, i noticed that our communication became off, way off. When we're both in our own individual cocoon, it’s hard to know what the other is thinking, it’s hard for one person to reach out to the other person, because we're busy getting in touch with our individual feelings, and hardly noticing the other. Also, our social life began to sink faster than the Titanic! I will say again, this doesn't mean that two introverts cannot be happy together. Who knows, maybe my future mate will be an introvert and we'll get along extremely well, and have a fantastic, meaningful relationship, and have a dozen introvert babies.

So anyway, this article got me thinking a lot about these things. BUT, as much I do believe an intro-extro union will be compatible with and complement each other well, of course it makes a lot more than that to have a great, lasting relationship. Communication, mutual feelings, choices, compromise, sacrifice, trust, honesty, understanding, and again, communication...these are all some of the ingredients for a good, meaningful relationship, alongside compatibility. 

Perhaps I might write an in-depth blog post sometime in the future about the detailed life of an introvert, from my perspective, of course. We’ll see.

In the meantime, later, skaters.