Coming across this question took me back to a date I went on a while ago. This same question was brought up by my date, who seemed to think men and women can never be mere friends. This is what I said to him then, and what I still believe today.
I do believe that men and women can be friends; I really don't see why not. There will be complications, no doubt about it, which is why, as much as I think they can be friends, I don't think a man and a woman can be best friends, without any feelings getting involved, especially if they're both single.
I say men and women can be friends, because I have a few men friends myself. We might not be buddy buddies, but I have one or two with whom I am quite close to. Now things could get complicated if one or both of us become involved in our respective committed relationships. How do we maintain that closeness without shutting out our respective spouses? How will our spouses feel about our 'friendship' and how close we are? These are some of the complications that can come with platonic relationships between a man and a woman.
One major complication that could arise is a possible development of romantic or sexual feelings from one party toward the other. One one hand, The male friend can become attracted to the woman and begin to unconsciously expect some sexual development to occur between the two of them, and when this doesn't happen, they can get extremely disappointed, only to expect it again and again, and when all fails, becomes distant and eventually seeks solace from another female 'friend'. The woman in this case doesn't see him as anything more than a friend, someone she can talk to and share her feelings with, while getting his male perspective on things. On the other hand, it could be the woman who develops romantic feelings for her male 'best' friend, while he sees her as nothing more than a 'buddy' like one of his male buds.
So indeed, it can be a complicated relationship, but it definitely is possible to have and maintain one. It can't really happen, people have said. Men will always want to get involved with a woman who gets them to lower their guard enough to let her in, a woman who gets him to share his thoughts. We women already know how hard it is for men to do this. In fact it's downright exhausting for us women when we go through those emotional shutdowns! So it is understandable when they say men will always want to get involved with the female friends with whom they open up with. Others have also said there are only two reasons why a man would want to spend time with a woman: either to get physical with her, or because he has romantic feelings for her. But my argument is this: I don't see why a single guy would give a girl an ultimatum that's kinda like - either you and i get involved or you're not in my life at all. What if you both share a particularly deep interest in a mutually-liked subject or cause, but you find nothing attractive about one another in terms of chemistry or love interest? No romantic feelings, no pull, nothing.... Could it eventually lead towards that, in time? Maybe it could. May it won't. There really isn't any pairing or match-making law that says men and women should never be anything to each other if it's not for coupling and/or copulating purposes (the word copulating weirdly makes me think of insects and biology, not sure why)...
Then again, I'm only thinking all this from a girl's perspective, so I just may be wrong. Well, I might have to do a survey on what guys think about this subject...
So...all of these got me thinking today...
Til next time...
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